Thin paper

I guess I should start updating this...  Not because I'm interesting... but because I have a lot to say.

Topic of the day? Toilets.

If you use those stupid paper things to cover up the toilet seat before you go to the bathroom.
I'm secretly judging you.
There, I SAID IT. So sue me.

But seriously?  Do you REALLY think a piece of thin freakin' paper is going to protect you from herpes?
(... fun fact, you have about 0.00000000000000001% chance of catching herpes from a toilet seat.  TRUE STATISTIC (... I'm lying. Please don't quote me).

Really people... ? we used that same paper to trace shit in elementary school.  FUN FACT: you can TRACE STUFF THROUGH IT... you know what that means? it doesn't have some awesome defense mechanism that adsorbs all creepy things... like herpes.

I know what you're thinking...

"Noo Claire, you can't trace HERPES through a thin piece of freakin' paper... but you CAN trace a kitty".

FALSE. Sorry dude.  Do you ever remember spilling something on one of your papers... (you know, like you can of red bull that's keeping your awake when you're working on something"... and you FREAK OUT because you spilled something on your precious paper?  You know why you're freakin out? BEACUSE WATER PENETRATES PAPER... and so do other creepy crawlies...)

This is from an advice column at MIT, and quotes a doctor there (not a prof there, just a doc in Student Health): "It's very difficult to get sick from a toilet seat," Heller says adamantly. "This is especially true for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)," he adds. (Hmmm… apparently, there's a reason they're referred to as sexually transmitted.) However, Heller notes, "a little extra caution might be warranted if one is traveling in an area where enteric infections like cholera are more common."

...And yes, I get it people.  If there's stuff on the seat, you don't want to sit in it... Either go to a different toilet or stop being a pussy and wipe off the seat. (obviously make sure there is a thick barrier of toilet paper between your hand and the toilet seat... have you learned nothing from my rant?)  Bring clorox wipes if you're really intense about it... just stop using that dumb thin paper toilet seat cover... it makes no sense to me.

Oh, and ONE MORE THING.  You people that are so disgusted by toilet seats are usually the ones making the biggest mess.  YOU HOVERERS... yeah shoot, if you're going to HOVER wipe it off afterwards.  You can't even act disgusted then because it's your OWN STUFF on the seat.

If the stuff on the seat isn't pee... or water from a power flusher... well that's a different story.
THE END.